and the winner is...
Drum roll, please: The Donald has announced the winner of the first big GOP debate in a very official press release. And according to Donald Trump, the "unequivocal winner" is... Donald Trump!
The real estate mogul gives himself a big pat on the back for "outperforming his rivals with decisive responses and swift counter-attacks" in Thursday night's first round of GOP debates hosted by Fox News. "Mr. Trump excelled in what was his first ever debate against a group of all talk, no action politicians," the release reads. Rather than giving in to the "incessant calls for political correctness," the release applauds Trump for instead "call[ing] for action."
Trump made sure to provide a statement on his victory: "I am very proud of my great performance tonight," he wrote. "I am not a debater, but I am a winner. If I am elected I will make this country a total winner — I will Make America Great Again."