Stephen Colbert looks at the GOP's remaining options to stop Donald Trump, shivers
Stephen Colbert often eases his viewers into his segments about the 2016 election with some sort of transition. On Wednesday's Late Show, it was The Bachelor, thanks to ex-bachelor Ben and his pick, Lauren, being in the audience. "Of course, the reality show everyone's talking about is the presidential election," Colbert said, and this week's big episode was the five states that voted on Tuesday. "People were calling it Super Tuesday Part III, and like all sequels, it's getting predictable and very expensive," he said.
Colbert began with the Democratic side, noting that Hillary Clinton beat Bernie Sanders in all five states, including Florida. "It is just so sad to see Bernie betrayed by the people he most resembles," he said, then moved on to the "interesting" race. He noted that Marco Rubio dropped out of the GOP contest after losing Florida to Donald Trump, then looked at who's left. Ohio Gov. John Kasich won his home state — his first victory — then said he would win the nomination. Kasich is high, Colbert suggested, "because to secure the nomination at the convention in Cleveland this summer, Kasich would have to get 116 percent of the remaining delegates. We'd have to make him governor of every remaining state, plus some states we don't even have yet," like North Kentucksylvania and Massachippissippi. He had especial fun with Massachippissippi.
That leaves Sen. Ted Cruz, whom Colbert brought up with a mixture of ghost-story and horror-movie special effects. "Mathematically, Cruz is the only guy remaining who can beat Donald Trump" — unless Republicans have a brokered convention, Colbert said, where delegates are free to vote for whomever they choose after nobody wins on the first ballot. That would be "great news," he said: "The Republican campaign could start all over again, only this time it's crammed into one week — you can binge-watch the death of the GOP." Colbert had one more analogy, and it's pretty good, too. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Swiss bliss: Chenot Palace Weggis takes wellness to the next level
The Blend Heath retreat on Switzerland's Lake Lucerne offers a mid-winter reset
By Felix Bischof Published
-
Earth's mini-moon was the moon all along
Under the radar More lunar rocks are likely floating in space
By Devika Rao, The Week US Published
-
Crossword: February 4, 2025
The Week's daily crossword
By The Week Staff Published
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own room
Speed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talks
Speed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tour
Speed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamation
Speed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box office
Speed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published