John Oliver wants these 2 things banned after Labor Day, too

(Image credit: Last Week Tonight)

last updated 6 September 2016

Last Week Tonight will be back next week to tackle this week's news, but John Oliver released a short rant online for Monday's holiday. "We are all familiar with the rule that you shouldn't wear white after Labor Day," he said. "But honestly, we should be using more holidays as arbitrary points to stop doing things." He had some pointed suggestions, of course, but eventually brought it back to the holiday at hand.

"While we're at it, there are some things after this Labor Day we should stop doing and then never do again," Oliver said. "For instance, let's stop saying 'That's interesting' when we mean, 'That is not interesting.' From now on, when someone tells you a boring story, simply say 'Bless you,' like you were just sneezed on, because that is what hearing about someone's travel delay feels like." Also, "from Labor Day forward, no more winking, ever," he added. "A wink is a gesture that is somehow both deeply sexual and incredibly unsexy." He made a pretty persuasive case. Watch Oliver's entire argument, and his alternative celebration for birthdays, in the video below. Peter Weber

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.