Samantha Bee shoots down the notion that President Trump is a 'lucky break for comedians'

Against all expectations, Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton in Tuesday's presidential election. "How did everybody get this so spectacularly wrong?" Samantha Bee asked on Wednesday's Full Frontal. "The pollsters, the media, the Keeping it 1600 nerds, us? What was the X-factor that none of the forecasts accounted for?" She suggested she might have played a small role, then poured cold water on one potential upside of a Trump White House: "And please don't even think about writing something stupid like 'What a lucky break a Trump presidency is for comedians! The jokes just write themselves!' No, no, no, shut up. Jokes don't write themselves. Jews write jokes, and they are scared shitless."

"Look, this isn't good for anyone — our democracy just hocked up a marmalade hairball with the whole world watching," Bee said. "In the coming days, people will be looking for someone to blame: The pollsters? The strident feminists? The Democratic Party? A vengeful God? But once you dust for fingerprints, it's pretty clear who ruined America: white people. I guess ruining Brooklyn was just a dry run." Yes, she added, "the caucasian nation showed up in droves to vote for Trump, so I don't want to want to hear a goddamned word about black voter turnout — how many times do we expect black people to build our country for us?"

"And don't try to distance yourself from the bad apples and say, 'It's not my fault, I didn't vote for him, #NotAllWhitePeople," she told white Clinton backers. "Shush-shush-shush-shush! If Muslims have to take responsibility for every member of their community, so do we." Bee ended on a more hopeful note. "America is still a great country, and it is still worth fighting for," she said. "And if Ms. Rodham's not in the White House, that's okay. One of those girls is going to be. We still have millions of Nasty Women who aren't going away." She ended with some bright spots from Tuesday's election, including the election of the first Latina U.S. and Indian-American U.S. senators and the first Somali-American lawmaker.

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And if you want a taste of what the show would have looked like had Clinton won, Bee has that, too. Peter Weber