Speed Reads

Johnsplaining

John Oliver warns America, especially President Trump, that the GOP health-care bill might actually pass

"It's finally here, the American Health Care Act," John Oliver said on Sunday's Last Week Tonight, laying out the cons of the Republican replacement for the Affordable Care Act. "You may not have wanted it, it looks awful, but it's here anyway. Try and think of it as the legislative equivalent of Pirates of the Caribbean 5: The Curse of Johnny Depp Getting Divorced and Needing the Money. And as will be the case with that movie, the early reviews of this thing have been rough."

"Essentially, people on both sides see the AHCA as just being sh--ty ObamaCare, the way Old Navy is a sh--ty version of the Gap," Oliver explained. But despite opposition from the left, right, and health-care groups, "this bill is not actually dead on arrival. There is still a chance it could become law. So given that, we need to take a look at what is actually inside this thing." He started with the difference between ObamaCare's subsidies and TrumpCare's tax credits, then moved on to the "really vicious" cuts to Medicaid — the part that House Speaker Paul Ryan is "creepily enthusiastic" about, Oliver said. "Millions of the poorest Americans will lose coverage — millions."

The people hurt by the bill includes a group that voted overwhelmingly for President Trump — "which is pretty frustrating," Oliver said. "It's like if the people of Pompeii voted for the volcano." In fact, "if this bill is bad for older Americans, poor Americans, and many Trump supporters, and all these groups oppose it, who exactly is it for?" he asked. The rich would get a tax cut, and the very rich would get a really big tax cut.

Oliver didn't mention Trump for the first 11 minutes, because "Trump has been noticeably distant from this whole process — and perhaps nothing shows that more than how this bill is being branded," he said "Trump is not clamoring to put his name on this bill, and he's put his name on some of the sh--tiest products in human history." Still, "I can kind of understand Trump not wanting his name on this — it contains almost nothing that he promised," Oliver said. "Somebody needs to explain this to him, and since he is still clearly watching Fox & Friends, we might actually be able to help here." You can watch his new ad below — though be warned, there is NSFW language throughout the segment. Peter Weber