Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles TrumpCare

Stephen Colbert has a theory on why Breitbart is gunning for Paul Ryan

Stephen Colbert returned to the CBO analysis of the GOP health-care bill on Tuesday's Late Show, focusing on its architect, House Speaker Paul Ryan. With criticism mounting of the plan, Ryan seemed pretty serene, saying that the CBO score exceeded his expectations. "Really?" Colbert asked. "Twenty-four million people losing their health care exceeded your expectations? You sound like the most optimistic guy in the Donner party. 'Oh, everything's great — I expected to eat my grandma miles ago.'"

But "Paul Ryan's headache is just beginning," Colbert said, because Breitbart News is now out to get him. "So, why would Breitbart, a far-right website, go after Ryan at this vulnerable time?" he asked, rhetorically. "Well, it turns out, they think the new health-care plan isn't conservative enough, because 'it does not repeal ObamaCare.' Yeah, 24 million people losing health insurance doesn't go far enough; they want health care as the founders intended: dying at 35 of Scrivener's Dropsy."

Colbert ended his monologue with the news that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson used an email alias at ExxonMobil to "discuss climate change on the sly." Colbert was bemused: "So in the Trump administration, you can be a sexist, or a white supremacist, but you're going to want to keep your science talk on the DL." The best part of the story is his alias, "Wayne Tracker," he said. "ExxonMobil says that the Wayne Tracker email wasn't used to hide climate change discussions. Well of course not. Wayne Tracker is a great name for your sexy novel about emailing cowboys. In fact, I happen to have a copy of that book." You can hear Colbert read excerpts from The Adventures of Wayne Tracker in the video below. Peter Weber