Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert wonders what's in the GOP's 'three-bucket' TrumpCare strategy's buckets

"For weeks now, Republicans have been pushing their ObamaCare replacement plan, but the bill has a pre-existing condition," Stephen Colbert said Wednesday on The Late Show: "Everybody hates it." Having trouble selling TrumpCare to Republican lawmakers, much less Democrats or the public, GOP leaders are "rebranding, they're introducing the 'three-bucket strategy,'" Colbert said. "So no health care, but with all those buckets, think of how much you'll save on urns."

"Maybe it's not literal buckets," Colbert said. "You know, since so many people are losing health care they're just saying, 'Quick, do the first three things on your bucket list.'" The "failing" health-care bill isn't Trump's only problem, he added, noting that to soothe Trump's anger after a federal judge halted his second travel ban order, aides played him a news report suggesting it won't survive Supreme Court review. They treat the president like a 5-year-old, Colbert said, "but if positive coverage helps calm down the big angry man with the launch codes, I say do it." He played a clip form his delightful "Real News Tonight" team.

"But you know, I talk too much about Donald Trump," Colbert said. "I talk about him every night, it makes me miss out on some other aspects of my life. There's so many other things to talk about." He spent the rest of the monologue joking about the "Fat Leonard military sex scandal" — which suggest that, once again, Colbert taped this show last week. Watch below. Peter Weber