Speed Reads

last night on late night

Stephen Colbert finds a common thread between Mike Pence's ambitions, Fox host Eric Bolling's sexting scandal

Well, no wonder President Trump needs a vacation, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. Just look at his poll numbers — specifically a recent Quinnipiac poll with really bad approval ratings for Trump. To wit, "33 percent?" Colbert marveled. "As Meatloaf so famously said, two out of three ain't bad, but one out of three sucks." And as Trump's approval numbers fall, "some have their eyes on Trump's job," reportedly including Vice President Mike Pence, he said, citing a New York Times report and ancillary evidence.

"No veep has acted this suspiciously since Grover Cleveland's vice president, Eustace P. McBackstabby," Colbert said, fancifully. He read Pence's strong denial, then laughed: "He's definitely running."

Pence isn't the only one considering a run for higher office, Colbert said, pointing to the sexting scandal engulfing Fox News personality Eric Bolling. "What happened to old fashioned courtship, when a gentleman would telegraph his genitalia?" he asked, acting this out. Bolling denied the allegations, kind of. "He doesn't recall?" Colbert asked. "How do you forget sending someone your bits and pieces?"

Bolling, of course, said some pretty hard things about Anthony Weiner when he was caught sending pictures of his genitals over text on multiple occasions. Not that Bolling was wrong, but "you know what they say about people who live in glass houses," Colbert said: "It's really easy to show your junk to the neighborhood." That metaphor might be a little too apt, he added, relating an allegation about Bolling from another female Fox News employee involving his glass office. That brought him to Bolling's backup plan in case his Fox News suspension become permanent: a run for U.S. Senate. Colbert already had some ideas: "Get ready for Bolling 2018 — though the lawn signs will have to be blurred." Watch below. Peter Weber