Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump and DACA

Trevor Noah notes how the Trumps are doing everything they slammed Hillary for, offers Clinton some ideas

Trevor Noah began Tuesday's Daily Show with a "rare Daily Show retraction." On Monday night's show, Noah said, he recounted how an official in President Trump's White House, Jared Kushner, used a private email account to conduct White House business. "It wasn't 'an official,' it was many officials," Noah said, at least six, including Ivanka Trump and Stephen Bannon. "Let's just take a quick tally of all the Hillary things the Trumps have done now," he said: "Private emails, working with Goldman Sachs, being shady with foundation money — I wouldn't be shocked if we found out that they're also wearing pantsuits in secret."

It's only fair that if Trump can do all the things he criticized Hillary Clinton for, she should be able to adopt Trump's less-savory habits, Noah said, with some salty, possibly NSFW suggestions.

Noah also shook his head at an NFL crowd booing the Dallas Cowboys for kneeling before the national anthem Monday night. "It's gotten so intense, I bet if a player drops their car keys, they're probably like, 'Oh, I guess I'm going to walk home,'" he joked. "Actually, if these protests continue, this would be a good reason for guys not to get married. You know, their girlfriends would be like, 'When are you going to propose?' 'Baby, you know I would, but I respect the troops too much to get down on a knee.'" He ended with a look at some winners and losers from America's "social pyromaniac" president declaring war on the NFL, and how the only real winner, the NFL, might cash in on its good fortune. Watch below. Peter Weber