Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump and the NFL

Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Jordan Klepper mock Steven Seagal, Russian NFL protest critic

"Just about everyone you can think of is weighing in on the NFL debate, and yesterday, someone you would never think of did as well," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. He played the clips of Steven Seagal calling the kneeling NFL protesters "outrageous" and "disgusting," adding: "I respect the American flag, and I myself have risked my life countless times for the American flag." Colbert laughed: "Sure, none of that was real, but then again, neither is his hair."

"You know, I think that there is more Steven Segal could have said on this issue," he said, putting on a fake goatee and stringing together a harangue from Seagal movie titles.

On Wednesday's Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel dryly noted that Seagal chastised American football players "all the way from Russia, where he is now inexplicably a citizen." And he also mocked Seagal's claim of fighting for the flag: "He risked his life twice, actually: Once in Under Siege and another time in Under Siege 2. How dare these athletes disrespect his sacrifice?!"

"While Steven Segal has never actually served in the military, he has risked his life(-style) countless times in making increasingly direct-to-video films," Daily Show alumnus Jordan Klepper said Thursday on his new show, The Opposition. "But that's why his stance on the NFL kneeling is so crucial. Because if there's one thing Steven Seagal knows, it's that America is Under Siege from a full-on Attack Force by NFL players who are Out for Justice with a Fire Down Below. Hopefully they'll face an Executive Decision made by a Patriot, because right now, our flag is Under Siege 2, Marked for Death, and On Deadly Ground. But these NFL players aren't Above the Law, they're Roseanne, Episode 207." He thanked Seagal, adding: "Give Vlad a high-five for me." Peter Weber