Stephen Colbert can't believe George H.W. Bush is a groper, can believe Ivanka doesn't understand words

This week, the post-Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment wave washed over former President George H.W. Bush. "Not him — he's the Bush we like!" Stephen Colbert protested on Thursday's Late Show, apparently disregarding W's growing popularity. "He's a 93-year-old grandpa who's been married to the same woman for 72 years," a feat few people achieve in life, Colbert noted. "Who's next? Colonel Sanders? Papa Smurf?" (Spoiler: it was Mark Halperin.)

Colbert recounted the "dirty joke" Bush apparently tells young women before grabbing their tushes, about "David Cop-a-Feel" being his favorite comedian. "That is not good," Colbert lamented. "I feel bad as a human being and even worse as a comedian, because that is not a believable joke. No one has a favorite magician."

Speaking of Republican dynasties, Ivanka Trump "has gotten a ton of praise from the right for her poise and intelligence," Colbert said. "At the same time, it turns out she doesn't know what words mean." A Vice writer has complied "a list of all the words Ivanka has used incorrectly, and it's a real ... fortnight," he joked, showing some examples. "You'd think she'd know how to use 'relative,' since her whole career is 'on a relative basis,'" he joked. After running through some other Ivanka malapropisms, Colbert turned to the camera. "Now, a lot of people have made fun of Ivanka online for this, but I'd like to say something in her defense," he said. You can watch his defense (spoiler: it isn't) below. Peter Weber

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