Man gets locked in gas station cooler overnight, decides to drink beer rather than figure out how to get rescued


When life hands you lemons, make hard lemonade. That, at least, appeared to be the thinking of a 38-year-old Wisconsin man who got trapped inside a gas station cooler Wednesday night while trying to fetch a beer at a Marshfield Kwik Trip, the Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune reports.
According to police, the man got trapped around 11:50 p.m., but rather than just knock on the glass — which would have alerted gas station employees, who could have simply let him out — he decided that he "might as well just stay inside the cooler and drink the beer," the Daily Tribune writes. The man was freed six hours later, around 5:50 a.m., when another gas station customer happened to notice the man in the cooler.
Unfortunately, the newly liberated freezer man then allegedly left without paying for the 18-ounce bottle or three cans of malt beverage that he consumed during his gas station slumber party. The Kwik Trip manager also claims the man fell over a stack of beer cans and broke three of the cases open. Police have reportedly issued a citation for retail theft.
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Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.
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