Speed Reads

you can't make this up

Customer returns dead Christmas tree to Costco on Jan. 4, gets a refund

This is why your 56-pack of paper towels and 25-pound jar of M&Ms is going to go up in price.

While waiting in the return line at the Costco in Santa Clarita, California, customer Scott Bentley noticed that instead of bringing back a faulty toaster or the wrong colored shirt, a woman at the front of the line was standing there with her giant old Christmas 2017 tree. "I can't make this stuff up," Bentley wrote on Facebook. He overheard the woman say she wanted to return the tree "because it [was] dead," and after the cashier asked her some questions, verified the dead tree was originally purchased at Costco, and shamed her "to a small degree," she got her money back.

Costco is known for having a lax return policy, so if you, too, have no shame, consider buying this 72-pound wheel of Kirkland Signature parmigiano reggiano, nibble on it until it's no longer edible, rent a truck, then haul it back to Costco and ask for a refund of $899.99, plus applicable tax. Catherine Garcia