"First son-in-law" Jared Kushner has lost his top security clearance, Stephen Colbert noted on Tuesday's Late Show, and when his audience cheered, he fake-rebuked them: "What's wrong with you people? How will he fix the Middle East now? He was so close to starting." So far, President Trump "has not commented on Jared's demotion — he was too busy with his main presidential duty, live-tweeting Fox News," Colbert joked, pointing to one that really stood out: "WITCH HUNT!" Presumably, Trump was talking about the Russia investigation, but nevertheless it persisted on Tuesday with the congressional testimony of Hope Hicks.
Hicks refused to say much, annoying and boring members of both parties, but there's nothing dull about Russia's continuing attempts to meddle in America's elections, Colbert said. "That's impressive — Americans don't even show up for the midterms. And with this sword hanging over the neck of American democracy," NSA chief Adm. Mike Rogers warned the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that Vladimir Putin has learned from Trump's inaction that there's no price to pay for election-meddling, America isn't doing enough to protect itself, and Trump hasn't given him the necessary orders to protect America from Russian hacking. Since that's not funny, Colbert spun an analogy involving a burning house and a Twitter-obsessed fire chief.
To calm everyone down, Colbert turned to some "booze news," Johnnie Walker's new female-focused brand, Jane Walker. "Female drinkers everywhere will say, 'Finally, a brand that's condescending to me,'" he said, jabbing at the "brandsplaining" rationale that scotch is "particularly intimidating" for women, and lady scotch shows "the brand's commitment to progress." The Jane Walker launch was originally scheduled to coincide with Hillary Clinton's victory. "Why did you scrap it?" Colbert asked. "I'm pretty sure the 2016 election made a lot of women want to drink." Watch below for his suggestions on other lady versions of well-known liquor brands. Peter Weber
The Week
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