Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Election 2018

Stephen Colbert parodies Ted Cruz's Beto-bashing campaign jingle, constructively

Tuesday was primary day in Texas, and Sen. Ted Cruz (R) got his official Democratic challenger, Stephen Colbert noted on Wednesday's Late Show. "You may not have heard of Beto O'Rourke, but no candidate gets voters more excited than Not Ted Cruz." In a sign that O'Rourke has some "Beto-mentum," he has out-fundraised Cruz by $1.5 million this year, "and that has gotten Ted Cruz serious about this race," Colbert said. "So serious that he released a novelty song — yeah, they don't call him 'Weird Ted' Cruz for nothing. (They call him that because he's weird.)"

Colbert apologetically played the jingle. "Well, that was unlikable, not good, and I don't like it — really makes you think of Ted Cruz," he said. But the real crime of the song isn't the hypocrisy of Rafael Edward Cruz criticizing Robert O'Rourke for using a nickname, Colbert said. It's rhyming "man" with "man." "At long last, sir, have you no shame?!" he demanded. "There are so many options — Bran and Dan sell the catamaran to Turkmenistan. In fact, I wrote a song with some advice for the Cruz campaign." You can watch that below. Peter Weber