Stephen Colbert can't believe Trump is mad at Sarah Huckabee Sanders for his own porn star mess


Porn star Stormy Daniels is suing President Trump, arguing that her nondisclosure agreement is null because Trump (a.k.a. "David Dennison") did not sign it, Stephen Colbert reminded everyone on Thursday's Late Show, and Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, has hit back with a restraining order against Daniels. "That's right, a restraining order to protect the president of the United States," Colbert said, assuming lawyer voice: "Your honor, my client has no way to defend himself, other than the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, and the top secret Pentagon nano-hornets. Meanwhile, the defendant here is viciously armed with a photo of an old man's schvantz!"
"The White House has shown surprisingly disciplined silence about the Trump-paid-porn-star thing," Colbert said, or at least it had until Thursday's White House press briefing. "Oops-a-truthie," he said after playing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitting there was Trump-involved arbitration. Trump wasn't pleased. "Let me get this straight: He's blaming Sarah Huckabee Sanders for the fallout from his affair with a porn star?" Colbert asked. "Happy International Women's Day."
"But enough about porn stars, let's get to the really sexy news: tariffs," Colbert said. He did that — and annotated Trump's charmingly awkward dialogue with the steel workers he invited to the tariff-signing ceremony — and you can watch that below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Congress should 'step in' to block Trump's White House ballroom makeover
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
6 sturdy post-and-beam homes
Feature Featuring a wood stove in New York and hand-hewn beams in New Hampshire
-
DORKs: The return of 'meme stock' mania
Feature Amateur investors are betting big on struggling brands in hopes of a revival
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talk
Speed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'
Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
A long weekend in Zürich
The Week Recommends The vibrant Swiss city is far more than just a banking hub
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposes
speed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wife
speed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
-
Giant schnauzer wins top prize at Westminster show
Speed Read Monty won best in show at the 149th Westminster Kennel Club dog show
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own room
Speed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation