Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Stormy Daniels

Stephen Colbert can't believe Trump is mad at Sarah Huckabee Sanders for his own porn star mess

Porn star Stormy Daniels is suing President Trump, arguing that her nondisclosure agreement is null because Trump (a.k.a. "David Dennison") did not sign it, Stephen Colbert reminded everyone on Thursday's Late Show, and Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, has hit back with a restraining order against Daniels. "That's right, a restraining order to protect the president of the United States," Colbert said, assuming lawyer voice: "Your honor, my client has no way to defend himself, other than the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, and the top secret Pentagon nano-hornets. Meanwhile, the defendant here is viciously armed with a photo of an old man's schvantz!"

"The White House has shown surprisingly disciplined silence about the Trump-paid-porn-star thing," Colbert said, or at least it had until Thursday's White House press briefing. "Oops-a-truthie," he said after playing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitting there was Trump-involved arbitration. Trump wasn't pleased. "Let me get this straight: He's blaming Sarah Huckabee Sanders for the fallout from his affair with a porn star?" Colbert asked. "Happy International Women's Day."

"But enough about porn stars, let's get to the really sexy news: tariffs," Colbert said. He did that — and annotated Trump's charmingly awkward dialogue with the steel workers he invited to the tariff-signing ceremony — and you can watch that below. Peter Weber