"You up to date on Trump vs. Biden?" Jimmy Kimmel asked on Thursday's Kimmel Live. If you aren't, he walked through former Vice President Joe Biden's claim that he would have "beat the hell" out of Trump in high school for disrespecting women and President Trump tweeting back his fantasy of beating up Biden and making him cry. "This is what it's come to, though: Two old men arguing over who could beat the other one up," Kimmel said, before speculating about who would actually win such a fight back in high school.
"Fortunately, for the good of all of us and our entertainment, Trump and Biden have decided to put the talk aside and settle this man-to-man," Kimmel said, rolling a fake preview of the fight — POTUS vs. JOETUS, live on C-SPAN pay per view. "They really should do that — all proceeds to charity, whoever wins gets to be president," he said, then staged a press conference about the idea with Sarah Knucklebee Sanders, the handy White House press secretary.
"This is just what America needs: The Thrilla in Vanilla," Seth Meyers said on Late Night, rolling his eyes at the idea of the 71-year-old Trump and 75-year-old Biden throwing down. "The last time I saw two old dudes going at it like that, my local Walmart was down to its last bottle of prune juice," he joked. "This whole ordeal is embarrassing not only because it degrades our political discourse but also because it would never happen. Can you imagine these two actually fighting?" He gave it a shot.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Also, "shame on Joe Biden," Meyers said. "We all know you want to fight Donald Trump. But when it comes time for someone to fight Donald Trump, I'm sorry, we're just not going to pick you — we're gonna pick Ronda Rousey." He turned to Trump's legal battles, and you can watch that below. Peter Weber
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.