Congress may be hauling in Facebook executives for grilling about privacy safeguards, but Mark Zuckerberg apparently has nothing to fear from President Trump. Instead, five sources tell Axios, Trump is raring to go after Amazon. "He's obsessed with Amazon," a source said. "Obsessed." Vice President Mike Pence is reportedly concerned about the power Facebook and Google wield, but Trump has mused about changing Amazon's tax status and "wondered aloud if there may be any way to go after Amazon with antitrust or competition law," a source who has spoken with Trump tells Axios.

Trump has been publicly critical of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos' ownership of The Washington Post, but privately he is more focused on how the online marketplace is affecting brick-and-mortar businesses — and, oddly, the U.S. Postal Service. "The whole post office thing, that's very much a perception he has," another source tells Axios. "It's been explained to him in multiple meetings that his perception is inaccurate and that the post office actually makes a ton of money from Amazon." This isn't Trump's only misperception — The New York Times' Maggie Haberman said Tuesday that Trump similarly continues "to rail privately about the omnibus bill, and has become convinced of things that aren't true about it," something White House officials attribute to his Fox News viewership.

Trump isn't alone in believing that Amazon is harming more traditional retailers, but he has some loud voices influencing his views on the matter, Jonathan Swan reports. "Trump's wealthy friends tell him Amazon is destroying their businesses. His real estate buddies tell him — and he agrees — that Amazon is killing shopping malls and brick-and-mortar retailers." Trump would "love to clip CEO Jeff Bezos' wings," Swan adds, "but he doesn't have a plan to make that happen." Still, as they say: Where there's a will, there's probably someone willing to sell a way on Amazon. Peter Weber

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) wants you to know she has "no health problems that would keep her from fulfilling the duties of the President of the United States," per a doctor's letter that the 70-year-old senator publicly released Friday.

Her medical record also showed that she has never "smoked, used drugs or had any problem with alcohol use," and "exercises regularly and follows a healthy diet," and only takes medication for "an underactive thyroid gland," CBS News observes.

This comes a day after the Los Angeles Times published a poll revealing a third of voters are worried about the age of several top presidential candidates, possibly due to potential health concerns. The poll found voters are less concerned about Warren's age than that of her fellow White House aspirants, former Vice President Joe Biden, 77, and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), 78, who had a heart attack in October. Meanwhile, President Trump, 73, also faces speculation about an unscheduled doctor's visit last month.

Though the Times survey found only 7 percent expressed concerns regarding Warren's age, 50 percent of Democratic voters told Pew Research Center they would prefer a candidate in their 50s.

Warren is the first Democratic candidate in the top trio to release a medical report, reports Politico, though Biden and Sanders have also pledged to release their medical records before the Iowa caucuses in early February, according to CNN. Warren's early move will likely initiate "a new primary-within-a-primary...to be the hardiest septuagenarian running for president," predicts Boston Globe. Ramisa Rob

Earlier this year, Friends star and human mortal Jennifer Aniston turned 50 years old, because that's how time works.

Of course, Aniston is also a famous actress, which means she also has to answer weird questions about how she manages to "embrace" the completely involuntary process of aging. Her answer: "What's the alternative?" Because, frankly, that's the only sensible response to an inquiry that stupid. Read more at People. Scott Meslow

Big news from the Garden State: Nicole Polizzi, better known as Snooki, has gym'ed and tanned her last laundry.

On the podcast It's Happening With Snooki & Joey, the Jersey Shore star announced her preemptive retirement from the fourth season of MTV's sequel series Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, reports Deadline.

Of course, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation hasn't even been ordered for a fourth season yet, so this might just be the reality-star equivalent of a "you can't fire me, I quit." Read more at Deadline. Scott Meslow

President Trump is taking "no obstruction" very seriously.

Trump is apparently sick of flushing toilets, the world unnecessarily learned on Friday. In some unknown place, some unknown people are cursed with "flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times" before everything goes where it needs to go, Trump said in a White House tirade against environmental protections.

"We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers, and other elements of bathrooms," Trump said, perhaps hinting at toilet paper or even hand towels. "You turn on the faucet, you don't get any water," Trump said of these places where there are "tremendous amounts of water." "They take a shower, the water comes dripping out. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times," Trump said of this mystery population. "So the EPA is looking at this very strongly," Trump reassured the nation's stressed-out flushers.

Earlier in the same rant, Trump complained about the energy efficient lightbulbs that are apparently giving him an "orange look," which he does not want. Kathryn Krawczyk

We've all been there: You're expected to attend the annual Diplomatic Corps reception at Buckingham Palace, but you just can't figure out which tiara to wear.

For the record, the prevailing theory is that Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, will wear the century-old "Lover's Knot" tiara, which consists of diamonds and pearls bound in pretzel-shaped knots.

If you're looking for a similar effect without breaking the bank, we hear your local Burger King may still have some of those cardboard crowns in the back room. Read more at People. Scott Meslow

The Trump administration wants to keep impeachment off your holiday menu.

Democrats have spent the past few weeks holding impeachment hearings to build a case against President Trump. But a White House spokesperson seems to think that's a waste of time, mostly because impeachment doesn't... feed anybody?

Yes, that's what White House spokesperson Hogan Gidley said to argue against continuing impeachment proceedings in a Friday Fox News appearance. "As you head into Christmas, as you head into the holiday season, people are going to want results," Gidley said. "But now all they're getting is hatred, vitriol, and a sham impeachment hearing that doesn't put food on the tables of the America people."

Gidley is uh, right on that one thing: Impeachment doesn't have anything to do with feeding families. But the Trump administration's recent rule change that could cut 600,000 people off from food stamps? Well, that certainly does. Kathryn Krawczyk