Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert agrees with Trump that his presidency has been 'like a poorly written novel'

Stephen Colbert joked on Monday's Late Show that he considered not returning from last week's vacation "because, uh, everything," but he didn't want to miss new National Security Adviser John Bolton's first day of work.

Colbert then turned to the latest developments in the Stormy Daniels saga, joking that "future generations will learn all about it in the Trump Presidential Library's adult section." But the payoff to Daniels by Trump's longtime lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen landed in the news Monday with an FBI raid on Cohen's office and home. Raiding a lawyer's office is tricky, given attorney-client privilege, so the Justice Department sends out a team of lawyers to review material before prosecutors can look at it. Colbert had a good, mostly family-friendly laugh at the name of these teams.

"'Taint team' — gotta take that to a taint team, because it t'ain't ethical and it t'ain't legal," he joked. "By the way, fun fact: Taint Team, one of Stormy Daniels' best movies." Still, Colbert added, "all hope isn't lost for Michael Cohen — I'm sure the FBI will keep this whole thing quiet for $130,000."

"Meanwhile, the chaos continues at the White House," Colbert said, starting with the apparent "imminent firing" of Chief of Staff John Kelly. Trump took to Twitter over the weekend to accuse The Washington Post of lying about a verbal brawl he reportedly had with Kelly, saying the Post's reporting is "like a poorly written novel." Colbert agreed: "Just look at the lurid, unbelievable fantasy novel the Post has been reporting for the last year and a half: Reality TV host becomes president with the help of an evil cabal of Facebook and Russians while he's sued by the porn star he had sex with? It's all in John Le Carré's classic novel, Tinkle, Traitor, Stormy, Spy." Watch below. Peter Weber