Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert is really excited about one thing Trump's former doctor, Harold Bornstein, just revealed

White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson is not returning to his old job as President Trump's doctor after his VA secretary nomination failed. No, "he wants to spend more time with his family, lying about how much they weigh," Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday's Late Show. "But there's an obvious candidate ready to step in," Trump's old physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein. Bornstein became famous after he wrote (well, wrote down) a one-page letter flamboyantly attesting to Trump's "amazingly excellent" health, but he ran afoul of the president after he told The New York Times that Trump takes Propecia to stimulate hair growth.

"Now, taking hair-growth drugs is not something Trump should be embarrassed about," Colbert said. "He should be angry that they do not work." Well, on Tuesday, Bornstein said that two days after he disclosed the Propecia use, Trump's bodyguard, lawyer, and a third guy "raided" his office and hijacked all of Trump's medical files. "Wait, they muscled their way into Trump's doctor's office to steal evidence that Donald Trump is going bald?" Colbert asked. "They know we can see, right? Are they also going to take away wind?"

The White House played down the news, but Bornstein said that he didn't get a signed authorization form to release Trump's records, in violation of patient privacy law, telling one reporter, "Sweetheart, this is Watergate, goodbye!" "Watergate?" Colbert asked. "Forget Propecia — when he says that, I feel like Bornstein just prescribed me Viagra." Watch below. Peter Weber