Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles the Trump Administration

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah find the common thread in all Scott Pruitt's petty little grifts

It can be hard to keep up with all the scandals swirling around EPA chief Scott Pruitt, who is currently the subject of 13 federal investigations. The Late Show has a quick rundown masquerading as a movie trailer.

"The thing that is so shocking about Pruitt's latest round of scandals is that they're so damn petty," including spending more than $3,000 on pens and having an aide try to acquire a used Trump hotel mattress for him, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night's show. "Well, finally answering the question, 'How does Scott Pruitt sleep at night?' It turns out: in other people's filth." He ran through some other scandals, with commentary, and ended with Pruitt's government-funded forays for moisturizer and a Silence of the Lambs clip.

It's shocking that Pruitt's scandals "haven't come from him trying to destroy the environment," but rather "his little side hustles," Trevor Noah added at The Daily Show. "Normally when you find out about corruption in D.C., it's the kind of corruption that makes you mad — you know, 'Millions in bribes!' But with every new Pruitt revelation, every time you find out, you go, 'Wait, what?'" Like Pruitt trying to officially hustle a Chick-fil-A franchise for his wife: "You're the head of a major government agency, with influence over some of the biggest corporations in the world, and you decide to abuse your position to get your wife a chicken store," he said. "It's like he's Thanos and he's using the Infinity Gauntlet to cut the line at Disney World."

But Pruitt is "finding little grifts all over Washington," and once you realize that he's just extraordinarily cheap, Noah said, "all his other weird scandals start to make more sense." When Pruitt is finally fired, it won't be for ruining the environment, he predicted. "He'll go down doing what he loves," something like "stuffing his pockets with White House toilet paper." Peter Weber