House Speaker Paul Ryan took a DNA test for the PBS show Finding Your Roots With Henry Louis Gates Jr., and on Wednesday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert said he "assumed the most shocking they'd find is that Ryan's great grandparents were Eddie Munster and Grover. But, it turns out, they found something way more unexpected: Surprise! Paul Ryan's slightly Jewish." Colbert had mixed feelings. "Haven't the Jewish people suffered enough?" he asked. "The Anti-Defamation League has already responded, saying: 'What?! Run the tests again!'"
Colbert had "one burning question" for Ryan, and it involves circumcision, "the price of admission" to the Jewish faith. And he had an offer that Ryan is sure to refuse: "Think of it this way, Paul: The foreskin is only 1 percent of the penis — and we know how much you love cuts for the 1 percent."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
The magician who secretly smashed the Magic Circle's glass ceilingUnder The Radar Sophie Lloyd lurked in the all-male society by posing as a teenage boy for nearly two years, but was expelled after revealing her true identity
-
Kate Summerscale's 6 favorite true crime books about real murder casesFeature The best-selling author recommends works by Helen Garner, Gwen Adshead, and more
-
Team of bitter rivalsOpinion Will internal tensions tear apart Trump's unlikely alliance?
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain PrizeSpeed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 winsspeed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughterspeed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
-
The Beatles are getting 4 intersecting biopicsSpeed Read Director Sam Mendes is making four separate movies, each told from the perspective of one band member
