Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers are comically underwhelmed with how this Brett Kavanaugh saga is ending
"The last week has been an emotional roller coaster — there were a lot of twists and turns, and I feel like throwing up," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show, but the saga of Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination is almost over. The vote isn't until Saturday, he said, "but I got a strong hint that he would be confirmed" ... in July, when "he was nominated by a Republican president with a Republican Senate." He even predicted the final vote, with dramatic flair and props.
Still, now we have the FBI report, which Democrats say "is lacking in, uh, report," because, among other things, it didn't look into Kavanugh's alleged heavy drinking, a key part of the sexual misconduct claims, Colbert said. "That's like investigating an arson and saying, 'We're not really looking into the fire part, we're more wondering how this building disappeared over here. Was it wizards? Did they use mirrors?'"
"They interviewed nine people over five days — I've had more thorough investigations to find my AirPods," Colbert said. He ended with a look at old Senate Republican men reacting with gleeful anger to the report, and an impressive Gregory Peck impersonation, centered on "boofing."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Lest you forgot about "boofing" and other factually dubious things Kavanaugh said at his hearing, The Late Show turned them into a drinking game.
Late Night's Seth Meyers was similarly unimpressed with the FBI's five-day investigation: "I had to do a report on the Louisiana Purchase in sixth grade, and it took me a month — and I got a C! They didn't even interview Kavanaugh or Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. They really went over this thing with a no-tooth comb." And he had a simple explanation for why Senate Republicans found no corroboration of Ford's allegations: "You didn't look for it!" He also had some jokes about Sen. Lindsey Graham's "schmear campaign" malapropism, and you can watch that below. Peter Weber
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Ashes to ashes, ducks to ducks: the end of Bazball?Talking Point Swashbuckling philosophy of England men’s cricket team ‘that once carried all along with it has become divisive and polarising’
-
The strangely resilient phenomenon of stowaways on planesIn The Spotlight Lapses in security are still allowing passengers to board flights without tickets or passports
-
Four Seasons Seoul: a fascinating blend of old and new in South KoreaThe Week Recommends Located right in the heart of the action, this classy hotel is the perfect base to explore the capital
-
Son arrested over killing of Rob and Michele ReinerSpeed Read Nick, the 32-year-old son of Hollywood director Rob Reiner, has been booked for the murder of his parents
-
Rob Reiner, wife dead in ‘apparent homicide’speed read The Reiners, found in their Los Angeles home, ‘had injuries consistent with being stabbed’
-
Hungary’s Krasznahorkai wins Nobel for literatureSpeed Read László Krasznahorkai is the author of acclaimed novels like ‘The Melancholy of Resistance’ and ‘Satantango’
-
Primatologist Jane Goodall dies at 91Speed Read She rose to fame following her groundbreaking field research with chimpanzees
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
