Stephen Colbert says it's a bad sign for Trump that Rudy Giuliani is 'prepping his argument to stay out of hell'
Tuesday was Day 32 of the government shutdown, and Stephen Colbert is prepping to live without a government. "I'm licking raw chicken to build up an immunity, and I'm practicing to be my own TSA," he joked on Tuesday's Late Show. "I'm hiding something somewhere, and I'm gonna find it." There is some hope for a temporary end to the shutdown, Colbert noted, but there was also "some bad news from the Supreme Court," which revived President Trump's ban on transgender military service. "That was like 15 bigoted policies ago," he said, and since it was a 5-4 party-line vote, Colbert threw in a Brett Kavanaugh joke.
Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani "stepped in it" on Sunday by saying Trump's Moscow Trump Tower deal was under negotiation until right before the 2016 election, but he "tried to call backsies" in a "weird" and "rambling" interview with The New Yorker on Monday night, Colbert said. Giuliani appeared to disclose Trump-Russia tapes and conversations he later said he shouldn't have mentioned, contradicted himself repeatedly, and mused about lying for Trump being on his tombstone and how he would convince St. Peter he was honest. "You know things are going great when your lawyer is already prepping his argument to stay out of hell," Colbert said.
Cliff Sims, a former Trump staffer with a new tell-all out, will be on The Late Show next week, Colbert said, and he ran through some of the newly released revelations, like Trump's reliance on budget-brand hairspray ("Now we know where Trump gets most of his best ideas from — the fumes," Colbert joked) and Trump walking out on a droning Paul Ryan to turn on the TV in a room down the hall. In Colbert's imagination, the TV wasn't tuned to Fox News.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
On The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon put on his Trump outfit and imagined what other things are going through Trump's head these days. Watch below. Peter Weber
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
5 wild card cartoons about Trump's cabinet picks
Cartoons Artists take on square pegs, very fine people, and more
By The Week US Published
-
How will Elon Musk's alliance with Donald Trump pan out?
The Explainer The billionaire's alliance with Donald Trump is causing concern across liberal America
By The Week UK Published
-
Netanyahu's gambit: axing his own defence minster
Talking Point Sacking of Yoav Gallant demonstrated 'utter contempt' for Israeli public
By The Week UK Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Beatles are getting 4 intersecting biopics
Speed Read Director Sam Mendes is making four separate movies, each told from the perspective of one band member
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published