Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump's wall

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah have some fun with Trump's El Paso rally, negative dealmaking artistry

On Monday night, President Trump traveled to El Paso for his first big political rally of the year, and on Tuesday night, The Late Show pulled a Weird Al to poke fun at Trump's speech.

Trump's rally had competition, but "I'll be honest: There wasn't much comedy out of the Beto O'Rourke rally," Trevor Noah said on Tuesday's Daily Show. "It made sense, he doesn't mispronounce words," and Beto's only missteps were vilifying all walls and standing next to conga drums. Trump, though, was on fire — or at least his pants were.

"So now we're doing 'Finish the Wall'?" Noah asked. "To be fair to Trump, even though zero new miles of wall have been built under Trump," he has "upgraded some of the existing fencing into taller fencing. Yeah, so he's solved the problem of smugglers who are determined to sneak drugs into America but are too lazy to buy a somewhat taller ladder." Trump also "managed to turn white people against dogs," Noah marveled, "the thing white people love more than anything," and showed off his math skills. "Yep, that's right, Trump is 1-for-1 and if he wins again, he's gonna be 2-for-0. That's not how math works. But at least now we know how Trump successfully negotiated -$200 million for his wall."

Yes, a tentative bipartisan border deal "gives Trump less than $1.4 billion for just 55 miles of fences," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show, not the $1.6 billion he was offered before the shutdown or the $5.7 billion he's demanding. "He didn't get what he wanted, and his TV friends noticed and they're being mean about it," he added. "And this afternoon, Trump agreed with those people who tell him what he agrees with." Still, Trump thinks he can build more wall by seizing disaster relief money set aside for California and Puerto Rico, Colbert noted. "So Trump's plan to divert funds from actual disasters in order to prevent a fictional one?" He compared that to Die Hard. Watch below. Peter Weber