Late Night Tackles Trump Scandals
Robert Kraft, Patriots owner and friend of President Trump, was allegedly caught on camera at a Florida day spa "getting, let's say, a hand employment," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, setting up a series of barely safe-for-work jokes. "This story got even seamier when it came out that the founder of the massage parlor company, Cindy Yang, attended Trump's Super Bowl party at Mar-a-Lago," he said. "Well of course she went to Trump's Super Bowl party — we know she was pulling for Bob Kraft."
"Now to be fair, Cindy Yang no longer owns the Orchids of Asia Day Spa," Colbert said, "because now she's running a more profitable business that sold Chinese business executives access to President Trump at Mar-a-Lago. ... National security experts say that Yang could pose a threat, presenting opportunities for espionage or blackmail targeting the president's inner circle — targeting your inner circle, by the way, also available at her massage parlors, small up-fee." That was Colbert's eighth consecutive massage parlor jokes, which he said is a world record, so he went for nine: "This sordid story really does have a happy ending."
Yes, Yang is "the original owner of the day spa in Florida where Patriots owner Bob Kraft scored his two-handed touchdown," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "To me, the amazing thing, it's not that Trump is somehow connected to this woman — that was 100 percent. To me, the amazing thing is she's not a part of his administration."
Before telling donors at Mar-a-Lago on Friday night that he did not call Tim Cook "Tim Apple" — Kimmel also couldn't believe Trump's fixated on that — Trump flew to Alabama to visit with victims of a deadly tornado, and while "at a Baptist church, he signed copies of the Bible," he said. "Right on the cover, too. How much of a God complex do you have to have to autograph the Bible?"
The Late Show had an idea of how those Bibles reacted to Trump's autograph, and you can watch that below. Peter Weber