Special Counsel Robert Mueller's final report is in, and "all I know is I haven't been this confused about an ending since the series finale of Lost," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live. "It's kind of funny, though: Half of America is upset that our president didn't collude with Russia. Seems like we should probably be happy about that, shouldn't we? And deep down, didn't we know Trump probably didn't collude with Russia, because he could never pull that off, and even if he did collude, it probably would have been by accident? [Russian President Vladimir] Putin wanted him in there and did what he had to do. Basically, Trump got in the White House the same way Lori Loughlin got her kid into USC."
"So far, as a result of this investigation, 37 people and entities have been charged with a total of 199 criminal counts and five people have been sentenced to prison, but for the president, who cares?" Kimmel said. "He was off to the golf course to play golf with his favorite kid, that being Kid Rock." And "make no mistake, this was a bigly victory for the president, and there was much celebration in the Trump camp last night," he added. "And as if Trump didn't have enough to celebrate today, Michael Avenatti, the former lawyer for Stormy Daniels, was arrested and charged with multiple crimes today. ... Here's my hope on this whole thing: I hope he hires Rudy Giuliani to represent him. Wouldn't that be fun?" Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Swiss bliss: Chenot Palace Weggis takes wellness to the next levelThe Blend Heath retreat on Switzerland's Lake Lucerne offers a mid-winter reset
-
Earth's mini-moon was the moon all alongUnder the radar More lunar rocks are likely floating in space
-
Crossword: February 4, 2025The Week's daily crossword
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top GrammysSpeed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own roomSpeed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box officeSpeed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
