Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Mueller's Finale

Jimmy Kimmel shrugs off Mueller's final report, compares Trump to Lori Loughlin's daughter

Special Counsel Robert Mueller's final report is in, and "all I know is I haven't been this confused about an ending since the series finale of Lost," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live. "It's kind of funny, though: Half of America is upset that our president didn't collude with Russia. Seems like we should probably be happy about that, shouldn't we? And deep down, didn't we know Trump probably didn't collude with Russia, because he could never pull that off, and even if he did collude, it probably would have been by accident? [Russian President Vladimir] Putin wanted him in there and did what he had to do. Basically, Trump got in the White House the same way Lori Loughlin got her kid into USC."

"So far, as a result of this investigation, 37 people and entities have been charged with a total of 199 criminal counts and five people have been sentenced to prison, but for the president, who cares?" Kimmel said. "He was off to the golf course to play golf with his favorite kid, that being Kid Rock." And "make no mistake, this was a bigly victory for the president, and there was much celebration in the Trump camp last night," he added. "And as if Trump didn't have enough to celebrate today, Michael Avenatti, the former lawyer for Stormy Daniels, was arrested and charged with multiple crimes today. ... Here's my hope on this whole thing: I hope he hires Rudy Giuliani to represent him. Wouldn't that be fun?" Peter Weber