Jimmy Kimmel has a very specific analogy for Merrick Garland deciding the fate of Trump's tax records

"Congress might finally get a look at the president's finances, even though he very much doesn't want that to happen," Jimmy Kimmel said on Tuesday's Kimmel Live. A federal judge upheld a House subpoena for Trump's records from his accounting firm on Monday, and while Trump has appealed the decision, "this is the best," Kimmel said: "The judge who might preside over that appeal is none other than Merrick Garland, the guy whose Supreme Court seat got squatted by Republicans in Congress."

"How perfect is that?" Kimmel asked. "Keep your fingers crossed. That's like if Donald and Melania renewed their vows, and the minister was Stormy Daniels." At a rally in Pennsylvania on Monday night, Trump "took shots at Joe Biden, the Oscars, Fox News, and even the lighting on stage," saying he prefers the sun to artificial lights, Kimmel said. "This, by the way, is coming from a man who sleeps in a tanning bed," he noted. But "he's right, the lights are very bright — maybe they should be president for a little while."

Kimmel also caught up on some crumbs from last week, namely Sen. Ted Cruz's (R-Texas) much-ridiculed warning about "space pirates." "Just when you think Ted Cruz can't get any weirder, he goes and becomes a Scientologist on us," Kimmel joked. But he took the remark seriously to create a trailer for Space Force 2, featuring, of course, space pirates.

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The Late Show mocked Cruz last week, with some traditional space pirate shanties. Watch below. Peter Weber