President Trump has obviously been watching his impeachment trial, and "he got things going bright and early today with a light sprinkling of witness intimidation directed as his former national security adviser John Bolton," Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live, reading Trump's rage tweet. "This is quite an argument: 'Everybody told me not to hire John Bolton, so I did, and he sucks!'" he paraphrased. "Here's a better questions: Who would be stupid enough to hire the person you just described?"
"Trump is all worked up about John Bolton's book," and the White House sent a threatening, but ultimately futile letter to Bolton saying he can't publish it, Kimmel said. "The only way to keep John Bolton from talking now is really for Trump to have sex with him and pay him $130,000." The big outstanding question at the impeachment trial is about witnesses. "A vast majority of Americans — 75 percent of voters — believe witnesses should be called to the trial, but 98 percent of Republican senators don't," he said. "This trial, it needs somebody to cut through the nonsense. If I could go up there in front of the Senate and present my thoughts, I think I could save us all a lot of time." And so Mr. Kimmel went to Washington, virtually, and he brought Bill (of Bill and Ted) fame and some founding fathers.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
7 drinks for every winter need possibleThe Week Recommends Including a variety of base spirits and a range of temperatures
-
'We have made it a crime for most refugees to want the American dream'Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
Was the Azerbaijan Airlines plane shot down?Today's Big Question Multiple sources claim Russian anti-aircraft missile damaged passenger jet, leading to Christmas Day crash that killed at least 38
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box officeSpeed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
