Late Night tackles Trump's final act
"It is so exciting that we can finally stop spending all our time talking about Donald Trump's presidency," Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "Yes, instead we get to talk about cleaning up the mess from Donald Trump's presidency," starting with his looming second impeachment trial. He made fun of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer's (D-N.Y.) "erection" gaffe — "I knew the Democrats were horny for Trump's impeachment, but that was ridiculous" — and mocked Senate Republicans for trying to avoid voting in Trump's trial by glomming on to a possible technicality.
Yes, "more and more Republican senators seem to be rallying the defense that conviction is unnecessary since Trump is already out of office," James Corden said at The Late Late Show. "I mean, sure, his supporters were looking for some of you with torches and pitchforks, but come on, that was like three weeks ago! Republican senators are the reason why there've been nine Nightmare on Elm Street movies."
Not everyone is getting off as easy as Trump, he added. "The company that makes Dominion voting machines is suing Rudy Giuliani over all of the false election claims that he made, and they're asking for $1.3 billion. ... Rudy's lies on behalf of Donald Trump could cost him more than $1 billion. But hey, at least he'll always have his dignity."
Yes, "the folks at Dominion are now suing Rudy for $1.3 billion — billion," Jimmy Kimmel said at Kimmel Live. "They are suing his pants off — although to be fair, Borat's daughter already had them halfway there."
"It's funny, if you sue someone for a billion dollars, it sounds like a joke — but when you sue them for $1.3 billion, you start to think, 'Oh, they might have some evidence,'" Seth Meyers joked at Late Night. "And $1.3 billion from Rudy? Good thing vampires are immortal, because he'll have to work the rest of his life to pay that off."
Stephen Colbert had some other suggestions for Giuliani at The Late Show, and he was underwhelmed with the GOP's new anti-impeachment argument. "So you just want to let him get off scot free for insurrection because he's no longer in power? That's like acquitting Jeffrey Dahmer because he's full." He explained the new evidence from the Justice Department that makes Trump's conviction more urgent, and he noted Dr. Anthony Fauci's liberation.
The Late Show also explored the depths of Fauci's new freedom. Peter Weber