Stephen Colbert can't help rising to Trump and Christopher Steele's 'pee tape' tease

published 19 October 2021

"While we were gone there was major news about the most powerful man in the world: Superman," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. DC Comics announced that Superman's motto is now "Truth, Justice, and a Better Tomorrow," not "Wearing Underwear on the Outside Since 1938," he joked. But it makes sense to change the actual old slogan, Colbert said, because "if Superman really followed the current 'American Way,' he would fly to school board meetings to scream about how the vaccine gave him heat vision."

"Speaking of the Man of Steel, this weekend we got a surprise media appearance from former British spy" Christophe Steele, the author of the "Steele Dossier" on former President Donald Trump's ties to Russia. "Prior to the 2016 election, this dossier alleged, among other things, that the Russians had a videotape of the former president having prostitutes pee on a hotel bed where President Barack Obama once slept in Moscow," he said. "Even worse, he later filled Obama's Oval Office desk chair with a neo-fascist grifter constantly leaking burger farts."

"Now, the so-called 'pee-pee tape' was never released, no matter how many times I prayed, but in an interview with ABC News, Steele says the former president's pee tape 'probably' exists," Colbert said, pretending to choke up and chide Steele for getting his shattered hopes up again. "This show had an official last pee-pee tape joke on Jan. 25," he said. "You cannot get me to talk about this until the actual tape has been released — or at least streamed."

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.