The good news about the new Omicron COVID-19 variant is that "cases appear to be very mild," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. The "bad news" is that "Omicron does appear to be evading vaccines — it's a scientific phenomenon known as Aaron Rodgers."
"Oh, there's another highly transmissible strain being passed around the country — it's the QAnon variant," Colbert said. "It turns out after years of failed prophesies, some folks are threatening to get off the Q train." He paraphrased a letter to former President Donald Trump from a very disappointed, newly disillusioned QAnon follower.
It may be "a couple of weeks before we know more about the Omicron strain," but "over in MAGA world, well, they seem to already have figured it all out," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. He chased down and mocked various Omicron conspiracy theories: the Democrats created it to win elections, bones are full of coronavirus, and "by far the least believable" one, that "if Trump was still in office, this variant — which doesn't even exist — would already be defeated."
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"Anyone whose brain hasn't been rotted from Fox and Facebook knows that everything these people are saying is bulls--t," Noah said. "And the best way you can tell that is that a year ago, MAGA world was pushing the exact opposite conspiracy."
"If you've been watching Fox News, you know that the real enemy isn't the virus or the do-my-own-research geniuses who refuse to get the vaccine — the real enemy is Dr. Fauci," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live, showing some examples. "Let me tell you screwballs something about Dr. Fauci, because I've had enough of this and he's too nice to say this himself."
Kimmel listed some highlights from Fauci's 50 years protecting America from deadly viruses. "And what thanks does he get?" he asked. "He gets scumbags like Ted Cruz, like Rand Paul, like that vile, inflatable Macy's parade balloon of dogs--t Tucker Carlson making up lies to take him down" so "they can keep terrifying old people," all for "ratings and money and votes."
Kimmel also updated "Elf On the Shelf" for the Facebook age, with an ad for "Zuck On a Truck" that devolves into a re-enactment of the Jan. 6 riot.
And The Late Show used the trial of a Jan. 6 insurrectionist who also played Judas in a touring production of Jesus Christ Superstar to rewrite that musical's namesake song.
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