The draw for the group stage of the 2014 World Cup took place today in Brazil — and it does not look pretty for the United States.
The FULL DRAW. pic.twitter.com/K6tmQsoy0D— Farayi Mungazi (@BBCFarayi) December 6, 2013
That's right. Not only will the U.S. face off against Germany, ranked the second-best team in the world by FIFA, but also Portugal, which is led by one Cristiano Ronaldo, who has been in amazing form of late. Furthermore, while the U.S. should technically be the favorite against Ghana, the Black Stars have a nasty habit of breaking American hearts at World Cups.
Behold Asamoah Gyan knocking the United States out of the 2010 World Cup, and doing his little victory dance.
Sorry, USA. Better luck in 2018.
THE WEEK'S AUDIOPHILE PODCASTS: LISTEN SMARTER
- After Ferguson: Stop deferring to the cops
- Ferguson riots were terrible — but this racist reaction was worse
- 43 TV shows to watch in 2014
- The hilarious hypocrisy of Republicans complaining about the imperial presidency
- Don't argue about politics this Thanksgiving. Just don't.
- Is it now OK to have sex with animals?
- How to be the most productive person in your office — and still get home by 5:30 p.m.
- 7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to
- Hey, scolds: Stop telling us to enjoy a healthy Thanksgiving
- In Ferguson, Michael Brown lost his life — and America's police lost the benefit of the doubt
Subscribe to the Week