On Wednesday night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart recapped the recent unrest in eastern Ukraine, where pro-Russia protesters have taken over a town hall and declared it an independent republic. Russia is threatening to intervene, but the recap is mostly prelude to Samantha Bee's segment on the threat Russia poses outside of Ukraine. Her token expert, an earnest former White House Russia expert named Andrew Weiss, assured Bee that while Russia's neighbors should be nervous, the odds that Russia will attack the U.S. are about one in a trillion. Bee, unconvinced, visited the closest place in America to Crimea — Brighton Beach. --Peter Weber
Israeli visitors who stopped by the Auschwitz concentration camp museum in Poland on Sunday were surprised to find mist showers that resembled Holocaust gas chambers, Ynet News reports.
— CBS Evening News (@CBSEveningNews) August 31, 2015
Museum management told Time the sprinklers were intended to cool down visitors on a particularly brutal day of Poland's latest heat wave, a solution they maintain was not intended to cause offense. But that didn't stop museumgoers from raising concerns about the link between the showers they saw Sunday and the showers built to execute their friends and family en masse during World War II. Staff reportedly apologized, to which Meyer Bolka responded, "there is no way to apologize to the victims of the Holocaust," according to the Jersualem Post.
"I think that in a place like this they should have thought about the type of connotation this would raise," Bolka told Ynet. "If you want to cool the people down, you need to find another solution. It was not a pleasant sight to see those sprinklers." Julie Kliegman
A team of scientists in the U.K. may have finally put an end to the particular frenzy that is trying to eat your ice cream before it melts on a hot day. Researchers from universities in Edinburgh and Dundee have discovered a naturally occurring protein that could slow ice cream's melting process, ensuring a longer lasting freeze and preventing ice crystals from wrecking ice cream's texture.
"The protein binds together the air, fat, and water in ice cream, creating a super-smooth consistency," the scientists said in a statement from the University of Edinburgh. While the slow-melting product will eventually melt, scientists say that the addition of the protein will keep it stable for longer, giving us all more time to actually savor that cone before it's reduced to a soupy mound.
It gets better: The new development could also enable the production of ice cream that has less saturated fat and fewer calories. Because the new protein would simply be replacing the ice cream's fat molecules, scientists predict that it "shouldn't taste any different," the BBC reports.
But don't start screaming for ice cream just yet. The new and improved ice cream product won't hit shelves for at least another three to five years. Becca Stanek
Brands will do just about anything to get the attention of college students, and the new social networking app Shattr is no different. But instead of giving away T-shirts or other freebies, they're banking on piquing students' interest in a slightly different way: by trashing GOP 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump.
Shattr passed out these cards on Boston University's campus:
"It's not meant to be political," Shattr co-founder Ben Fichter said of the seemingly random, expletive-laden "F--k Donald Trump" tagline. "We thought it was funny. We saw it as a lighthearted way to break through to these kids who are being bombarded by all these companies."
Shattr allows users to take a selfie, add a description, and tag friends in the photo. The post then enters a pool for nearby users to reach out to groups of interest and "Shattr" the ice. Of course, branching out of your social group can always be a little awkward, but everyone on Shattr can rest assured of this: If the business cards serve their intended purpose, Shattr users will likely have at least one opinion in common from the start. Jeva Lange
Ben Carson is tied with Donald Trump in Iowa in the latest Monmouth University Poll released Monday, marking the first time that a GOP contender has closed the gap in Trump's lead in the primary. Both Carson and Trump got 23 percent support from Iowa's Republican voters, while former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina came in third with 10 percent of the vote. None of the other candidates in the Republican field eked out double-digit support.
Aside from marking the big moment in which Trump no longer leads the rest of the GOP field by a wide margin, the poll also provides an illuminating look at what Iowa voters value in a Republican presidential candidate. None of the poll's top three contenders (Trump, Carson, and Fiorina) comes from a political background; all are considered outsider candidates.
The poll, which was conducted between August 27-30, has a margin of error of plus or minus 4.9 percentage points. Becca Stanek
Reopening the U.S. embassy in Tehran is still a long, long way away from happening, but that doesn't mean Iranians aren't rethinking their relationship with Uncle Sam. Iranian state media said this weekend that a number of people painted over "Death to America" graffiti on the wall of the former U.S. embassy, the Jerusalem Post reported. Similar anti-American slogans have been wiped from other streets in Tehran.
— Golnaz Esfandiari (@GEsfandiari) August 30, 2015
Formal diplomatic ties have been severed between the United States and Iran since 1979, when student protesters overran the embassy; the hostage crisis that followed lasted 444 days. Britain, meanwhile, is restoring diplomatic relations with Iran, four years after its own embassy was ransacked. Iranians weren't as willing to clean the graffiti there, however; "Death to England" is still scrawled on a wall above a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II, according to The Washington Post.
As we await a vote in Congress on the Iran nuclear deal, Iranian Foreign Minister Javad Zarif remains convinced that opening the U.S. embassy isn't a healthy next step, calling Washington's "illogical attitude" toward Iran a situation that needs to be resolved first. Jeva Lange
Better drop on the deck and flop like a fish, landlubbers: SpongeBob SquarePants is set for a Broadway debut in 2016, Playbill reports. The SpongeBob Musical, which Nickelodeon first confirmed was in the works in February, will first head to Chicago on June 7 for a month-long tryout at the Oriental Theatre.
"One of our challenges has been to take an episodic art form, remain true to its spirit of non-sequiturs and outrageousness and then create a really strong storyline that will not only get people involved but pay off emotionally," director Tina Landau told the Chicago Tribune. "So we have a story and a subplot, but it's all spiced with the particular flavorings of the SpongeBob universe."
The plot Landau touts is described as follows: "Only one sponge can save the day. But he's going to need help from some of the greatest songwriters in rock and pop music history."
A star-studded score should help the longest-running Nicktoon make a smooth transition from screen to stage. David Bowie, John Legend, Aerosmith, Cyndi Lauper, and They Might Be Giants are among the artists signed onto the project.
While the NFL and Tom Brady failed to reach a settlement on Monday, that still meant that Jane Rosenberg — the courtroom sketch artist who became infamous after her unconventional sketch of the usually handsome Patriots quarterback went viral — had to show up for work and get a drawing done.
However, while today's sketch captures less of the surreal qualities of the original, it still expresses Rosenberg's signature style.
— Ben Parker (@radiobenparker) August 31, 2015
Rosenberg told CBS that in the days leading up to Monday's anticipated second-chance sketch, she "had sleepless nights" with Tom Brady on her mind. "It was a nightmare," she said.
Before Monday's appearance in court, Rosenberg also showed CBS her practice sketch of Brady, in which he looks decidedly less like he's melting:
— Stephen Brown (@PPVSRB) August 31, 2015
"I don't like knowing people are really watching what I'm doing," Rosenberg told CBS. She added to the New York Daily News that even doing her practice sketch was hard. "I still found him very hard to draw — from a photo as well. Something subtle goes on with his eyes."
Sweet dreams, Rosenberg. It's all over — for now. Jeva Lange