The Republican nominee to be the president of the United States of America had a long night. Donald Trump, by all appearances, spent the 5 a.m. hour of Friday morning tweeting about a former Miss Universe's so-called "sex tape" and "past," and the 3 a.m. hour tweeting about "made up lies." The timeline (which affords Trump no more than a maximum of five hours of sleep, assuming he tweeted as soon as he went to bed and woke up) is as follows:
Thursday, 10:16 p.m.:
Friday, 3:20 a.m.:
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Friday, 5:14 a.m.:
Friday, 5:19 a.m.:
Friday, 5:30 a.m.:
Friday, 8:50 a.m.:
Naturally the tweetstorm raises some questions:
- Were these early morning tweets or late night tweets?
- Alternatively, did Trump wake up at 3:20 a.m. with a jolt of inspiration and get on Twitter because he couldn't wait?
- Seriously, why was he awake?
- Who was the intended audience for these public service announcements? (Possible options: New Delhi, Nairobi, Jakarta, Moscow, Reykjavik)
- Is Trump the first presidential nominee to tell America to "check out sex tape"?
- Will he ever learn to spell "judgment" correctly?
- Is he okay???
The conclusion, regardless: Sleeping is clearly for losers.
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