The best of the tabloids in 2011

Panda poo tea, anyone?

A Chinese entrepreneur is making the world’s most expensive tea from panda bear feces. An Yanshi has collected 5 tons of panda poop for the tea, which will be sold for $34,000 a pound. An says the panda’s excrement “is rich in fiber and nutrients,” thanks to a diet rich in bamboo. Panda poo tea, he says, has more antioxidants than green tea, and “a mature, nutty taste and a very distinctive aroma.”

“I did what?” said a California man

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A California man was charged with unlawfully maiming a reptile after he bit a python at a convenience store. David Senk, 54, who admits he has a drinking problem, saw a woman showing off her pet python at the store and “just out of the blue took a bite,” police said. The bite was so severe that the python required surgery. “I did what?” Senk said later. “If you find the owner, tell him I’m real sorry.”

Making do with a cow

A German teenager whose farmer parents wouldn’t buy her a horse put a saddle on a cow and trained her to gallop and jump over barriers. Regina Mayer, 15, rides the 2-year-old heifer, named Luna, every day. At first, she says, Luna “got a bit peeved” at having a human on her back, but now can gallop like a horse, respond to command, and even do jumps. “She thinks she’s a horse,” says Mayer.

Crowded train travels to the wrong city

A crowded Indian train traveled 600 miles in the wrong direction before furious passengers alerted the conductor. The train left Tirupati and was supposed to pass through Bhubaneswar and terminate in Varanasi, but instead chugged into Warangal, where more than 1,000 passengers finally realized they were in the wrong region of India entirely. “Though the journey was agonizing,” one passenger said, “we thank our stars that the train did not run into another train.”