Who called 911? and more

Who called 911?

Emergency workers were puzzled when they responded to a 911 emergency call from a Massachusetts home, and discovered the house was empty. After forcing their way in, the workers found that the house had been flooded by a burst water pipe—and due to a short circuit, had dialed 911 itself. Public Health Director Wayne Attridge described the condition of the house as being like a scene from a horror movie. “The floors have buckled,” said Attridge. “The ceilings are sagging.”

Charlie Sheen apologizes

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Charlie Sheen has been secretly begging CBS executives for his job back, says the National Enquirer. When his live shows largely bombed, the former Two and a Half Men star realized he was “losing,” not “winning,” and sent a series of “abjectly contrite” letters to the network and executives he’d previously attacked. He even begged for forgiveness from producer Chuck Lorre, his archnemesis, a source said. The letter “rambled on for two pages, sounding a lot like the way Charlie speaks,” said the source. “It even included the line, ‘I’m sorry from the bottom of my tiger heart.’” Lorre and CBS, still furious that Sheen’s cocaine binge and other antics cost them a top-rated show, were unmoved.

How to boost gym membership

A gymnasium in Spain is hoping to boost its membership by allowing customers to work out naked. The gym’s owner freely admits he hopes the nudity will attract more customers, but critics question whether it’s hygienic to let sweating people sit on exercise machines without pants. The gym says it provides towels to nude customers “to prevent slippage.”