“Dying people in California could soon get support from a familiar face,” said The Times. Nicole Kidman has revealed she is training to become a death doula following the painful loss of her mother, Janelle, who died in 2024 aged 84.
The Oscar-winning actor admitted her new venture “sounds a little weird”. But she told an audience at the University of San Francisco she had discovered there was “only so much the family could provide” as her mother approached the end of her life. “That’s when I went, ‘I wish there was these people in the world that were there to sit impartially and just provide solace and care.’”
Bridging the gap
A death doula works in a “similar capacity” to a birth doula, said PhD candidate Syman Braun Freck on The Conversation. Instead of assisting a mother during pregnancy and childbirth, a death doula is a “community partner offering support to the dying”. They act as a “neutral third party”, inhabiting a space between family, medical professionals and funeral directors.
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Death used to be a “sacred communal process” that took place within the “comfort” of the family home. But during the late 19th and early 20th century dying became “institutionalised” and “medicalised”, and loved ones were “pushed to the wayside”.
This gap in end-of-life care opened a space for a “host of paraprofessionals” and led in the early 2000s to the re-emergence of the “ancient practice” of death doulas.
These individuals aren’t medically trained. They provide practical, spiritual and emotional support for clients, helping them “navigate fear and uncertainty about death and what might come after it”, said The New York Times. Death doulas also assist people expressing their wishes for end-of-life care, help to facilitate “meaningful conversations with their families”, and provide guidance for loved ones left behind.
Meaningful ends
There has been a “rapid” rise in the number of people training to become death doulas in recent years, Dr Emma Clare, chief executive of End of Life Doula UK, told The Times. The charity has around 450 members, after more than 100 joined last year. And it’s not just those with a terminal illness who are using the service; since the pandemic, more “healthy 30-somethings” have also been seeking death doulas to plan a meaningful end to life. The NHS has started to recognise this work, in some cases commissioning doulas to provide additional palliative care for people dying at home.
“I wasn’t surprised” that Nicole Kidman chose to embark on her new venture after losing her mother, said death doula Anna Lyons in The Times. “People often enter into this line of work following grief. You suddenly understand what kind of support is needed.”
I work with people from diagnosis until they die, and support their families after they’re gone. “My role is primarily to listen” and “be a witness to the end of their life”, ensuring they don’t have to go through it alone. There is something “very beautiful about being able to help somebody” in this way. “It is a privilege.”
It is a “lovely thing that everybody should have the opportunity to utilise”, said Eva Wiseman in The Observer. And the “true benefit” of a celebrity doula could lie not in helping you to find peace in your final days, but instead in bringing “distraction from it”. To spend your last moments “holding the manicured hand of a person you loved (in “Moulin Rouge” and “The Others”) would not only add some sparkle to the painful mundanity of death but also, surely, provide meaning when we need it most”.
