Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts poke Facebook's Meta-morphosis, mock Mitt Romney's Halloween choices

"Today, Mark Zuckerberg finally revealed the new name of Facebook," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "'Meta' — as in, when I joined Facebook, I meta lot of crazy people." Facebook is apparently "trying to win back younger users," he added, but based on a new ad (The Tonight Show made up), "it seems like they're trying a little too hard."

Meanwhile, "a new study shows small amounts of plastic are found in the food from chains like McDonald's," Fallon said. "You could tell things are bad at McDonald's — today they changed their name to McMeta."

"That's right, Meta — as in your Aunt Gloria saying 'I meta guy on Facebook who says the vaccine makes balls magnetic,'" Stephen Colbert joked at The Late Show. "The name is meant to reflect the company's new focus on its new online digital realm known as the metaverse." A corporation created its own virtual world? He suggested "we skip the whole robot-uprising-to-harvest-our-organs and just jump straight into the Thunderdome."

"The company says the name Facebook is not going away," Colbert said."'From now on, we're going to be metaverse first, not Facebook first.' But don't you worry, the self-esteem of teenage girls will always be last." He ran through the video presentation by "Facebook's chief humanoid simulation, Mark Zuckerberg," and seemed unimpressed. "So, you had the option of being anything in the world, and you chose to look like Mark Zuckerberg wearing exactly what you're already wearing? That's like finding a genie and wishing you hadn't."

"Speaking of theoretical fantasy worlds where things might happen, Congress," Colbert said. After recapping the state of President Biden's spending negotiations, he turned to Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah), who "posted a video of his new Halloween costume, Ted Lasso, with the caption: 'If you believe in yourself, and have clear eyes and full hearts — you can't lose.' Unless you're running against Barack Obama, then you get absolutely spanked."

Yes, "this is that magical time of year when adults who have no business being in costume get in costume," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. He panned New York Mayor Bill de Blasio's Star Trek misfire before turning his mockery on Romney. After his first Ted Lasso photo, Romney "stopped by fellow Republican Kyrsten Sinema's office," he narrated. "She went dressed as Ted's boss, Rebecca. He handed her some biscuits. Ah, they're having so much fun while the country dies, aren't they?" He also had last-minute costume advice for regular people, kind of.