Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts poke fun at Elon Musk's Person of the Year honor, that big Sex and the City spoiler

"This morning, the world's richest man, Elon Musk, was named Time magazine's Person of the Year," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. "Musk received the honor for his work in space exploration and after he bought 10 million subscriptions to Time magazine. I'm kidding, although it was a little strange that everyone at Time drove into work today in a brand-new Tesla."

Time's Person of the Year is "by far the most incredible honor that most people find out about in a dentist's office," Trevor Noah joked on The Daily Show. Still, "congratulations, Elon Musk!" he added. "The guy could really use an ego boost, you know? And honestly, you can't argue with this: I mean, richest man in the world, who also controls space, crypto, and electric cars? Who would even be second place? Like, maybe Pete Davidson?"

Noah also had a spoiler for "the hot new TV show," HBO's Sex and the City reboot. "Over the weekend, the debut episode not only sent shockwaves through people's living rooms, it also shook up the stock market," specifically Peloton's share price. "How does Peleton's real-life stock tank because of something that happened to a character in a TV show?" he sighed.

"I'm very careful, as you know, not to give spoilers about popular TV shows," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "But unfortunately, the news demands I share" the "major spoiler" that "Carrie's husband, Mr. Big, suffers a fatal heart attack while using a Peloton bike. Wow, there hasn't been an exercise-related TV death this shocking since a Bowflex shot J.R." Peloton's damage control effort was swift and ... slightly over-the-top, he added. "Evidently, Peloton commercials have the power to bring characters back to life" — and if you want to avoid spoilers for Titanic, skip this one.

"Mr. Big passed away this weekend, but Mr. Bigly is alive and well in Florida," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly kicked off their Lie-a-palloza tour," and "the turnout was much lower than Trump expected," he said. "If the place was any emptier, it would be Don Jr.'s head."

Regarding Musk's Person of the Year designation, "it's important to note this is not necessarily a compliment," Kimmel noted. "Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump were also named person of the year." Kimmel and his audience did appreciate Time's heroes of the year, however.