The COVID-19 pandemic is "bad here in L.A., everybody has it," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live. "COVID is like the new kombucha here." Yet still, "millions of Americans won't get vaccinated," he said, advising President Biden to look to Canada, where Quebec had success by requiring proof of vaccination to enter liquor and cannabis stores. "I think maybe Pfizer needs to come out with some gummies and a hard lemonade," Kimmel deadpanned.
"But of course there are all sorts of new crazy miracle cures and remedies," Kimmel said, focusing on the latest craze, from some "anti-vaxxhole" touting "the benefits of his all-natural COVID killer," urine by the glass. "By the way, if this guy's kids ever set up a lemonade stand in your neighborhood, run," he joked. "You know, there's so much stuff to sell to these anti-vaxxers," he said, showing a fake "Anti-Vax Barbie" ad that veers into dark comedy.
The seven-day average of new COVID-19 cases has hit 700,000 in the U.S., Stephen Colbert noted on The Late Show. "That's the population of Denver! And you know you're in trouble when you're higher than the people of Denver." Still, "some people don't want to know many cases of Omicron are out there," notably Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R), who argued on Friday that before COVID, nobody got tested to determine if they were sick. He offered some analogies to illustrate that preventative medicine wasn't invented last year.
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Meanwhile, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) is refusing to cooperate with the Jan. 6 committee, Colbert said. "Turns out after wrestling with the decision, the committee showering him with the opportunity to speak up, Jim Jordan has decided he saw nothing." He added, "Ohio State," in case you wanted to do your own research.
Late Night's Seth Meyers, taping at home again after testing positive for COVID-19 last week, tied together fake COVID cures, Jordan's refusal to cooperate, and "fellow pro-coup Republican Ted Cruz" going on Fox News "to humiliate himself and beg for forgiveness for the grave sin of condemning" the Jan. 6 "terrorist attack."
Cruz originally said the right thing, "even though it's definitely a little weird to condemn an attack you helped whip up by spreading the very lies that fueled that mob," Meyers said. "It's like when O.J. promised to find the real killer."
The Late Show circled back to DeSantis with an ad for a new kind of COVID test.
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