Late night hosts drink in St. Patrick's Day, spit out Russia's U.S. propagandists, picture Putin sans botox
Jimmy Fallon dedicated a good deal of Thursday's Tonight Show monologue to St. Patrick's Day, including singing about how we all can be Irish-Americans. "Switching gears, I read that Netflix is trying to crack down on password sharing by charging an extra fee to users who share their account," he said. "In other words, everyone under 30 is about to find out that Netflix isn't free."
"A lot of people are upset about this plan, but guess what? You don't have to buy Netflix, because you know who's not going to charge you extra? Your old pals here on broadcast television," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Meanwhile, there's a war happening. Vladdy and the Putins are getting hit with more sanctions to punish them for their unprovoked attacks on Ukraine. The House today passed a bill to suspend normal trade relations with Russia," and "yesterday President Biden called Putin a 'war criminal.' Russia said that was unforgivable, so today Biden called him a 'murderous dictator' and a 'pure thug.' Tomorrow he's going to call him a stupid-head, and it might get really crazy."
"Even pharmaceutical companies have stopped shipping nonessential drugs to Russia," including botox, which Putin is rumored to use, Kimmel said, showing a visual representation of what it might look like if Putin stopped using the wrinkle-smoothing injections. "What a weird time for Russians — their assets are frozen but their foreheads are not."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"Ukraine has been saying for weeks that Russia is guilty of war crimes, and now it looks like the president of the United States agrees," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. But not all Americans are down on Putin, he said. "As wild as it sounds, channels like Fox News, Newsmax, and OAN, they've been so friendly to Putin's narrative, that Russian TV stations have even reportedly been ordered to play clips of Tucker Carlson on its broadcasts." Noah demonstrated how closely some American conservatives hew to the Kremlin's party line in a "propagand-off."
"Biden announced yesterday that the U.S. will provide a new assistance package for Ukraine which includes 800 anti-aircraft systems" — and "we're giving them the best anti-aircraft system we have: drunk passengers," Seth Meyers joked on Late Night. "Republican Pennsylvania Senate hopeful Dr. Mehmet Oz said yesterday that he would renounce his dual Turkish citizenship if he gets elected. No word yet on when he'll renounce the title of 'doctor.'"
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Labour's Brexit conundrum
The Explainer Keir Starmer backs 'twin track' strategy – build closer security ties with EU while ruling out single market, customs union and free movement
By The Week UK Published
-
6 scenic white water rafting destinations to get your heart racing
The Week Recommends Have a rip-roaring time on the water
By Catherine Garcia, The Week US Published
-
Dangerous substances in Lunchables are raising concerns over children's health
In the Spotlight High levels of lead and sodium were recently found in the snack packages
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
Why Johnson won't just pass Ukraine aid
Speed Read The House Speaker could have sent $60 billion in military aid to Ukraine — but it would have split his caucus
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Sudan on brink of collapse after a year of war
Speed Read 18 million people face famine as the country continues its bloody downward spiral
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump's first criminal trial starts with jury picks
Speed Read The former president faces charges related to hush money payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
How will Israel respond to Iran's direct attack?
Speed Read Iran’s weekend attack on Israel could escalate into a wider Middle East war
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
US, Israel brace for Iran retaliatory strikes
Speed Read An Iranian attack on Israel is believed to be imminent
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Congress honors real-life Rosie the Riveters
Speed Read These American women reshaped the work force during World War II
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Outgunned Ukraine could fall, US general warns
Speed Read Without more US aid, Ukraine is at risk of losing the war
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
House GOP scuttles FISA vote at Trump's urging
Speed Read Right-wing lawmakers blocked Speaker Mike Johnson's surveillance bill
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published