Late night hosts celebrate Biden's 79th birthday with ribbing about his age and historic colonoscopy
"This weekend was President Biden's birthday, and he's the first president to turn 79 while in office," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. "Biden spent his birthday in Wilmington, Delaware, and went to a 5 o'clock Mass. Man, does this guy know how to party, or what? Even Mike Pence was like, 'Ever heard of Chuck E. Cheese?'"
To give some perspective on how old Biden is, "Bill Clinton — remember him? guy who was president almost 30 years ago? — he's 75 now," Jimmy Kimmel noted on Kimmel Live. "Biden kicked off his birthday weekend with a colonoscopy. His doctor said there were no traces of malarkey, everything looked good," and the report from the White House doctor sounded "like a Cialis ad. I mean, we need him to run the country, not impregnate our women, all right? 'Vigorous' is unnecessary."
"Biden temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy, making Harris the first woman to assume presidential power," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president — on a technicality."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Biden passed his physical, and his doctors "also checked the old noodle shop, and confirmed he's still got a whole bag of ramen," Colbert said, putting on his aviators for his Biden impressions: "I can pass any brain test you throw at me, Jack. You want me to remember five words you told me? Easy peasy, here we go: Person, woman, Jack, malarkey, C'mon.'" Still, he added, "the man is 79, and it shows" in his "'perceptibly stiffer and less fluid' gait — or as Fox News calls it, GaitGate."
Colbert also lamented the Kyle Rittenhouse acquittal. "I'm not a legal expert, so I can't tell you whether or not Kyle Rittenhouse broke the law, but I can tell you this: If he didn't break the law, we should change the law," he said. And "only a complete moron would celebrate this clear tragedy by making this guy a hero." Colbert singled out Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.): "Of course, Gaetz has a vested interest in juries finding people not guilty, especially when it involves a 17-year-old crossing state lines."
"After Kyle Rittenhouse was found not guilty, Republican congressmen Madison Cawthorn, Matt Gaetz, and Paul Gosar each offered Rittenhouse an internship — which is great," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. "It's not jail time, but it would be nice if he got some kind of punishment."
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Why quitting your job is so difficult in JapanUnder the Radar Reluctance to change job and rise of ‘proxy quitters’ is a reaction to Japan’s ‘rigid’ labour market – but there are signs of change
-
Gavin Newsom and Dr. Oz feud over fraud allegationsIn the Spotlight Newsom called Oz’s behavior ‘baseless and racist’
-
‘Admin night’: the TikTok trend turning paperwork into a partyThe Explainer Grab your friends and make a night of tackling the most boring tasks
-
The ‘mad king’: has Trump finally lost it?Talking Point Rambling speeches, wind turbine obsession, and an ‘unhinged’ letter to Norway’s prime minister have caused concern whether the rest of his term is ‘sustainable’
-
Trump sues IRS for $10B over tax record leaksSpeed Read The president is claiming ‘reputational and financial harm’ from leaks of his tax information between 2018 and 2020
-
Trump, Senate Democrats reach DHS funding dealSpeed Read The deal will fund most of the government through September and the Department of Homeland Security for two weeks
-
Fed holds rates steady, bucking Trump pressureSpeed Read The Federal Reserve voted to keep its benchmark interest rate unchanged
-
Judge slams ICE violations amid growing backlashSpeed Read ‘ICE is not a law unto itself,’ said a federal judge after the agency violated at least 96 court orders
-
Rep. Ilhan Omar attacked with unknown liquidSpeed Read This ‘small agitator isn’t going to intimidate me from doing my work’
-
Democrats pledge Noem impeachment if not firedSpeed Read Trump is publicly defending the Homeland Security secretary
-
The billionaires’ wealth tax: a catastrophe for California?Talking Point Peter Thiel and Larry Page preparing to change state residency
