Late night hosts celebrate Biden's 79th birthday with ribbing about his age and historic colonoscopy
"This weekend was President Biden's birthday, and he's the first president to turn 79 while in office," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. "Biden spent his birthday in Wilmington, Delaware, and went to a 5 o'clock Mass. Man, does this guy know how to party, or what? Even Mike Pence was like, 'Ever heard of Chuck E. Cheese?'"
To give some perspective on how old Biden is, "Bill Clinton — remember him? guy who was president almost 30 years ago? — he's 75 now," Jimmy Kimmel noted on Kimmel Live. "Biden kicked off his birthday weekend with a colonoscopy. His doctor said there were no traces of malarkey, everything looked good," and the report from the White House doctor sounded "like a Cialis ad. I mean, we need him to run the country, not impregnate our women, all right? 'Vigorous' is unnecessary."
"Biden temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy, making Harris the first woman to assume presidential power," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president — on a technicality."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Biden passed his physical, and his doctors "also checked the old noodle shop, and confirmed he's still got a whole bag of ramen," Colbert said, putting on his aviators for his Biden impressions: "I can pass any brain test you throw at me, Jack. You want me to remember five words you told me? Easy peasy, here we go: Person, woman, Jack, malarkey, C'mon.'" Still, he added, "the man is 79, and it shows" in his "'perceptibly stiffer and less fluid' gait — or as Fox News calls it, GaitGate."
Colbert also lamented the Kyle Rittenhouse acquittal. "I'm not a legal expert, so I can't tell you whether or not Kyle Rittenhouse broke the law, but I can tell you this: If he didn't break the law, we should change the law," he said. And "only a complete moron would celebrate this clear tragedy by making this guy a hero." Colbert singled out Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.): "Of course, Gaetz has a vested interest in juries finding people not guilty, especially when it involves a 17-year-old crossing state lines."
"After Kyle Rittenhouse was found not guilty, Republican congressmen Madison Cawthorn, Matt Gaetz, and Paul Gosar each offered Rittenhouse an internship — which is great," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. "It's not jail time, but it would be nice if he got some kind of punishment."
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Trump vows new tariffs on Canada over Reagan adspeed read The ad that offended the president has Ronald Reagan explaining why import taxes hurt the economy
-
NY attorney general asks public for ICE raid footageSpeed Read Rep. Dan Goldman claims ICE wrongly detained four US citizens in the Canal Street raid and held them for a whole day without charges
-
Trump’s huge ballroom to replace razed East WingSpeed Read The White House’s east wing is being torn down amid ballroom construction
-
Trump expands boat strikes to Pacific, killing 5 moreSpeed Read The US military destroyed two more alleged drug smuggling boats in international waters
-
Trump demands millions from his administrationSpeed Read The president has requested $230 million in compensation from the Justice Department for previous federal investigations
-
Trump nominee in limbo after racist texts leakSpeed Read Paul Ingrassia lost Republican support following the exposure of past racist text messages
-
Trump begins East Wing demolition for ballroomspeed read The president’s new construction will cost $250 million
-
Appeals court clears Trump’s Portland troop deploymentSpeed Read A divided federal appeals court ruled that President Trump can send the National Guard to Portland


