Late night hosts celebrate Biden's 79th birthday with ribbing about his age and historic colonoscopy

"This weekend was President Biden's birthday, and he's the first president to turn 79 while in office," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. "Biden spent his birthday in Wilmington, Delaware, and went to a 5 o'clock Mass. Man, does this guy know how to party, or what? Even Mike Pence was like, 'Ever heard of Chuck E. Cheese?'"
To give some perspective on how old Biden is, "Bill Clinton — remember him? guy who was president almost 30 years ago? — he's 75 now," Jimmy Kimmel noted on Kimmel Live. "Biden kicked off his birthday weekend with a colonoscopy. His doctor said there were no traces of malarkey, everything looked good," and the report from the White House doctor sounded "like a Cialis ad. I mean, we need him to run the country, not impregnate our women, all right? 'Vigorous' is unnecessary."
"Biden temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy, making Harris the first woman to assume presidential power," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president — on a technicality."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Biden passed his physical, and his doctors "also checked the old noodle shop, and confirmed he's still got a whole bag of ramen," Colbert said, putting on his aviators for his Biden impressions: "I can pass any brain test you throw at me, Jack. You want me to remember five words you told me? Easy peasy, here we go: Person, woman, Jack, malarkey, C'mon.'" Still, he added, "the man is 79, and it shows" in his "'perceptibly stiffer and less fluid' gait — or as Fox News calls it, GaitGate."
Colbert also lamented the Kyle Rittenhouse acquittal. "I'm not a legal expert, so I can't tell you whether or not Kyle Rittenhouse broke the law, but I can tell you this: If he didn't break the law, we should change the law," he said. And "only a complete moron would celebrate this clear tragedy by making this guy a hero." Colbert singled out Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.): "Of course, Gaetz has a vested interest in juries finding people not guilty, especially when it involves a 17-year-old crossing state lines."
"After Kyle Rittenhouse was found not guilty, Republican congressmen Madison Cawthorn, Matt Gaetz, and Paul Gosar each offered Rittenhouse an internship — which is great," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. "It's not jail time, but it would be nice if he got some kind of punishment."
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
5 naturally disastrous editorial cartoons about FEMA
Cartoons Political cartoonists take on FEMA, the hurricane season, and the This is Fine meme
-
Amanda Feilding: the serious legacy of the 'Crackpot Countess'
In the Spotlight Nicknamed 'Lady Mindbender', eccentric aristocrat was a pioneer in the field of psychedelic research
-
Green bean, almond and peach salad recipe
The Week Recommends Thomas Straker's fresh dish is summer in a bowl
-
Supreme Court lowers bar in discrimination cases
speed read The court ruled in favor of a white woman who claimed she lost two deserved promotions to gay employees
-
Trump-Musk relationship implodes in taunts, threats
speed read Musk said Trump's multitrillion bill would cause a recession and accused the president of involvement with Jeffrey Epstein
-
Trump hits Africa, Middle East with new travel ban
Speed Read The travel ban bars visitors from 12 countries and restricts entry from seven
-
Elon Musk slams Trump's 'pork-filled' signature bill
speed read 'Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong,' Musk posted on X
-
Depleted FEMA struggling as hurricane season begins
speed read FEMA has lost a third of its workforce amid DOGE cuts enforced by President Donald Trump
-
The Biden cover-up: a 'near-treasonous' conspiracy
Talking Point Using 'Trumpian' tactics, the former president's inner circle maintained a conspiracy of silence around his cognitive and physical decline
-
White House tackles fake citations in MAHA report
speed read A federal government public health report spearheaded by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was rife with false citations
-
Judge blocks push to bar Harvard foreign students
speed read Judge Allison Burroughs sided with Harvard against the Trump administration's attempt to block the admittance of international students