Jabba the Hutt ‘works as intern for Trump’

Star Wars villain Jabba the Hutt and Spider-Man’s alter-ego Peter Parker have been named as interns in President Donald Trump’s annual economic report. The compilers of the 711-page Economic Report of the president tweeted to say the listings were a deliberate prank. “Did folks really think this was a mistake?!?” they asked.

Man from year 2300 saw dinosaurs

A time-traveller from the year 2300 says he has seen dinosaurs in the future. The man, named Roman, said: “Suddenly we heard a roar, a very loud voice. When we turned back we saw a mystical giant. That was a dinosaur, more than a hundred metres tall.” One online commenter said: “This is so unbelievably ridiculous.”

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Penis cleaner ‘leaves you smelling like rainbows’

A new product has been launched which apparently leaves men’s private parts looking “magical” and “smelling like rainbows”. Boners Penis Cleaner costs £12 and the manufacturers recommend the “intimate soap” is used before and after “sexy games”. Crucially, they add, it is “gentle”.