The Senate passed a $1 trillion infrastructure plan on Tuesday, and "19 Republican senators joined every Democrat in favor," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "The last time that many Republicans crossed the aisle in Congress, it was to steal Nancy Pelosi's podium. Even Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell voted in favor of the legislation. Well, that makes sense — I mean, trolls love bridges."
Seriously, $3.5 trillion — "Biden's spending money like his Gap Rewards just kicked in," Jimmy Fallon said at The Tonight Show. "Biden calls it the 'human infrastructure plan.' I'm not really crazy about the term 'human infrastructure.' I'm picturing rich couples using other people as furniture."
"This is a little strange," Fallon said. "Rudy Giuliani has joined Cameo and is selling videos for $275 each. That's right, he went from being America's Mayor to saying 'Hello, this is Rudy Giuliani, I want to wish Deez Nuts a happy retirement.'"
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"According to the 2020 Census, for the first time in history, the number of white people in the U.S. is on the decline," so "this has got to be a scary time for racists, and Applebee's," Sarah Silverman said on Jimmy Kimmel Live. "Speaking of white people on the decline, Rudy Giuliani has a new gig." She laughed. "Can you really put price on a future convicted felon accidentally farting on camera for your niece's quinceañera? You can: It's $275."
"This is maybe the saddest part: it says he responds within 10 hours," Silverman said. "His prostate doesn't respond that fast. I did the math — Rudy's being sued by Dominion for $1.3 billion. So all he has to do is make 3,250,000 Cameos, and he'll be halfway there."
"The many weirdos who tried to help Donald Trump overthrow the election are in major legal and financial trouble," and "Trump is refusing to help Rudy Giuliani pay his legal bills," Seth Meyers said at Late Night. "I guess Rudy's last cameo went so well, he decided to give it another go. 'For an extra $50, I'll tuck in my shirt!'"
"It took a lot of self-control on our part not to buy a Cameo from Rudy, because ultimately — even if you're doing it as a joke — Rudy's still getting the money," Meyers said. So he mimicked Giuliani doing a Cameo for "DOJ" about the time he and his friend Don tried to steal an election, and you can watch that below.
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