Speed Reads

Surprise, surprise

Yes, older dudes are going on spring break to pick up college girls

Spring Breakers/Facebook

Ah, spring break, that beachside bacchanalia in which college co-eds flock to places like Fort Lauderdale and Cancun to swill Bud Lights, flash bystanders, and fellate guns (well, maybe that one only happens in the movies). But who says this collegiate tradition is only for those who are drinking away the stress of an upcoming statistics midterm? The New York Post was gracious enough to report on the eligible bachelors who may have graduated college many years ago, but still make the pilgrimage south in pursuit of... well, we'll let the Post tell you:

Since graduating from college nine years ago, Justin, who works in sales, has been to Puerto Vallarta, Negril and Miami. After all, while New York has a bounty of beautiful women, spring vultures say there's nothing like a college girl looking to let off some steam. "I could run around New York City and bang as many girls as I do on spring break, but it's not the same feeling," says Justin.

"When people are on spring break, they're in a totally different mindset," he continues. "If there were a bunch of 28-year-olds who went, it'd be great. But they all seem to sour up, lose their bodies and don't know how to have fun anymore." [New York Post]

Shockingly, Justin did not want to disclose his last name to the Post for "professional reasons."

Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise that men who are pining for their college days attempt to recapture the debaucherous magic of their early twenties with a trip down to Daytona or Miami. But dropping all that cash on fancy hotel rooms to impress college girls because it's "easier to get laid" on spring break? That's pretty predatory.

Read the full report at the New York Post.