Stephen Colbert strongly suggests that he went to the CBS Christmas party last night instead of watching the Republican debate on CNN — which, let's face it, is the only reasonable thing to have done. But some poor staffer had to spend two hours watching CNN during the party, so Colbert could recap the debate on Wednesday's Late Show — or, nobody did, because Colbert's synopsis was a little light on the detail. "What really struck me was the ruthless attacks on the Republicans," he said, and then he showed a highlight reel of all the friendly fire on stage at The Venetian.
It was a long, substantive debate, but Colbert mostly left it at that and turned to Donald Trump's doctor, Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, who wrote a note declaring, among other things, that Trump would be "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." Among the "astonishingly excellent" test result was a very low prostate score, which gave Colbert this line: "I'm not surprised his prostate is healthy — that's where he pulls most of his ideas from." In other words, Colbert went to a fabulous Christmas party and all he brought us was this prediction of Surgeon General Harold Bornstein. If you've seen a photo of Trump's doctor, you know that's not nothing. And if you haven't, definitely watch below. Peter Weber
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