Stephen Colbert's Late Show was on break last week, and he had a lot of catching up to do in Monday night's monologue. He jumped right in. "Ever since the tape of Donald on the Billy Bush locker bus came out, Trump has been fending off attacks like a woman meeting Donald Trump," he began. The tape, plus the trickle of women who have since come forward to accuse Trump of groping or otherwise violating them, "has led to a free fall in the polls for Donald," Colbert said, but Trump has an explanation: The election is being "rigged" by the media, but also at "many polling places." "I heard that on Nov. 8," Colbert said, conspiratorially, "millions of riggers will hide behind little curtains in private booths, and with a secret ballot collude to defeat Donald Trump. And why? They're doing it for the stickers: 'I rigged.'"
The election really is rigged, Colbert said, but in Trump's favor, thanks to an estimated $3 billion in free advertising he received from the media he now rails against. Not that Trump is buying that. "So fraudulent voters, the media, drugs, and women are all against Trump," Colbert summarized. "But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Trump knows these accusations of sexual misconduct are really being concocted by sinister forces," including international bankers. To piece the puzzle together, Colbert brought out the Glenn Beck–inspired "international conspiracy board," and started connecting the dots — well, connecting something. The audience figured out the joke pretty early on, and the final diagram was deemed too bawdy by CBS's censors. Watch below. Peter Weber
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