Speed Reads


President Obama had a 'corny-copia' of bad dad jokes at this year's turkey pardon

The president of the United States is one of the most powerful people on the globe, the leader of the free world. Of course, he also fills another role once a year — that as the feared and respected turkey pardoner.

This year was President Obama's last turkey pardon, an affair his daughters finally decided to bail out on entirely. But even if Malia and Sasha weren't present, Obama did not skimp on his dad jokes. Here are the six worst (or, if you're a dad, the best). Jeva Lange

1. "Tater is here in a backup roll just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. He's kind of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

2. "It is my great privilege — well, it's my privilege — well, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon."

3. "No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

4. "For the past seven years I've established another tradition: Embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

5. "I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky, who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom, who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

6. "Yes we cran!"