Speed Reads

Samsplaining

Samantha Bee and Glenn Beck try to found anti-Trumpism alliance, bizarrely find so much more

"Those of you who only read about me know that I'm an ultra-liberal harpy paid by Killary to crap on everything decent in America," Samantha Bee said on Monday's Full Frontal, "while those who actually watch the show are probably dismayed at how not-true that is." She showed a NSFW highlight reel of her saying nice things about conservatives. "I happen to have lots of conservative friends," she said, "and this holiday, I made one more," Glenn Beck.

Beck has been acting strange lately — and not in the way her audience may think. "In the spirit of peace, love, and reconciliation, Glenn and I put on our Christmas sweaters and got to work on healing the nation," Bee said. They began by noting their "mutual tribal animosities" — their audiences despise each other. Beck asked why she invited him on her show, and Bee said: "Because I think that our future is going to require a broad coalition of nonpartisan decency. It's not just individual people against Donald Trump, it's all of us against Trumpism."

Beck agreed, and said he came on the show because he doesn't think Bee is trying to do harm, like he did in the early Obama years. "My message to you is: Please don't make the mistakes that I made," he said. "And I think all of us are doing it. We're doing it on Facebook, we're doing it on Twitter. We tear each other apart, and we don't see the human on the other side." Bee was having trouble believing she and Beck were on the same page. Beck tried to help.

"I've been watching you," Beck said. "You've adopted a lot of my catastrophe kind of traits." "Sam Bee's having a Christmas crisis," she said. "Let me ask you this," Beck said. "Do you believe there's a chance we fall into a dictatorship under Donald Trump? Do you believe there's a chance we lose our freedom of speech and press under this president?" Bee shook her head in disbelief that she had become a Beck-style "catastrophist." "What I was thinking about is that this had honestly been one of the strangest days I've ever had," Bee said in a voiceover. "Maybe we're both suckers, but very cautiously, by fits and starts, Glenn Beck and I were becoming... allies?" They consummated this strange new pact with a "strange bedfellows" cake, and by eating the other's head. It's as weird as it sounds. Watch below. Peter Weber